Sermon February 24, 2019
During the years 1976-1993 ABC carried the tv show Family Feud. This was a busy time in my life. I was the priest of a large parish in Davenport, Iowa and had little time to watch tv. But I did hear about the show and even watched a few episodes. The “Feud” pitted two families against each other to see who could name the most popular responses to a battery of survey questions that ABC had given to its tv audience. The goal of the game was to win cash prizes. There was nothing personal. However, when family feuds do get personal, people are often hurt, humbled and alienated.
I remember a disagreement I had with my grandpa, Pastor T.A. Holmes. Pastor Holmes did not like to be challenged by anyone much less a kid who was all of 10 years old. One day my father, Grandpa Holmes, my younger brother and I were riding together in a car in Houtzdale, Pennsylvania. A handsome Lincoln Continental passed us on the road. I made a comment about the Lincoln company that manufactured the car. Grandpa emphatically told me the Continental was not manufactured by Lincoln but by Ford. I disagreed. We drove past the Ford dealer and Grandpa commanded my father to “Stop!” He then proceeded to run into the show room and triumphantly returned saying, “It’s a Ford product, not a Lincoln product.” He was not going to lose an argument to his ten -year-old grandson. Yes, Grandpa was right. Lincoln was a division of Ford motors. But I was hurt by his triumphant attitude. That was over 66 years ago, and I’ve not forgotten.
Family feuds take center stage in all three of our lessons for this morning. Each has a different focus. I will look at each and share some examples of related family feuds that did not always end well. I’ll start with our reading from the Hebrew Scriptures from Genesis Chapter 45 when father and sons carry things too far but first an example from my life.
My dad was a very successful pastor with a parish of 1,500 parishioners. One day when my brother Paul and I along with our families were visiting him we engaged in a theological discussion. My brother and I are both ordained pastors, we got into a discussion with our dad centered on the issue of whether the Bible should be viewed as a metaphor or taken literally. My father believed the Bible to be factual including the story of Jonah being eaten by the whale. Paul and I disagreed. We began to vociferously advocate our positions. Our voices became more and more heated causing my mother to storm into the room saying, “Will you three please stop it. Quit this now and settle down!” I’m not sure where our discussion aka feud would have taken us. In truth the three of us were relishing our argument but to placate our mother we calmed down with no winner or loser.
Jacob, the father of all the tribes of Israel, so loved his youngest son Joseph that Joseph’s older siblings grew to hate him. Joseph was the kid with the coat of many colors if you remember. We all know the story. The elder brothers faked Joseph’s death and packed him off to Egypt as a slave. After years of ups and downs, Joseph became the most powerful man in Egypt after the Pharaoh himself. Drought and famine hit the world and Jacob sent his sons to Egypt to try and obtain food. The Egyptians under his leadership had stored food and their warehouses were full. When the brothers came to ask for food, Joseph recognized them immediately although they did not recognize him. Joseph could have taken vengeance on his brothers for what they had done to him. Joseph reveals himself and instead of anger he embraces all of his brothers. The wounds are healed. Joseph forgave his brother. Yes forgave.
Forgiveness is often the hardest thing to do when one is wronged. Joseph did not wait for his brothers to say “We are sorry.” Forgiveness, true forgiveness, does not expect another to grovel or even say, “I’m sorry.” Forgiveness has no caveats, no exceptions. Remember the words from the cross, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” And also these words from scripture, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Forgive and move on.
The second story of a Family Feud is in Paul’s fist letter to the Corinthians when he speaks about Adam and Eve. Recall the tension that took place between these two when God came and calls after they had eaten the forbidden fruit. The following story might illustrate the conundrum the Divine faced at that moment. Years ago I held a wedding for a young couple. During one of our pre-nuptial sessions the bride and groom told me that the bride’s mom disapproved of their marriage and would not be in attendance for their nuptials. The wedding was scheduled to start at 4:30. The bride was beautiful; the groom was nervous; the one hundred guests were seated. At 4:20, ten minutes before the bride was to walk down the aisle, the phone rang in the church office. I answered. It was the bride’s mother. She had changed her mind. She wanted to come to the wedding. I asked the bride and groom, “Do we wait?” We all agreed yes. The mother of the bride was 10 to 20 minutes away from the church. I went to my wife, the organist, and said, “Keep playing!” She would know when to start playing the Wedding Processional when the mother walked down the aisle. The wedding began at 4:45. Mercy and compassion had prevailed. So, back to the Garden of Eden. God could have struck both Adam and Eve dead and started over. But instead he saved them.
In many of our corporate prayers the congregation responds with “Have mercy upon us.” Oh, how we depend on that mercy as descendants of Adam and Eve. It’s why Jesus was sent to Earth 2,000 years ago to create a pathway to eternal life thru him. It is his compassion, his mercy that saves us. Nothing we can do to deserve it. It is a gift to all humankind.
Quickly, I’ll move on to the gospel lesson. In Luke Chapter 6 Jesus talks bout the power and efficacy of love. I had my seminary year of internship in Bridgeport, Connecticut back in 1966-67. One of the most active members of this congregation of over 1,000 renounced his daughter and cut all ties with her when she married an African-American man. The mother continued to stay in contact with the newly weds but he would have none of the biracial marriage. For two years the family feud continued but then the first grandchild was born. His own flesh and blood. His wife shared with him all the stuff the new Grandma could about the child. Soon this angry and distraught father/grandfather relented and went to see the new baby. Guess what? He picked up his biracial grand baby and fell in love with him. He could not resist this adorable child. Reconciliation occurred. He was present at the baptism. Love can conquer all. That’s why Jesus said, “Love your enemies. Bless those who persecute you. Do good to those who hate you. Do not judge. Do not condemn. The measure you give will be the measure you get back.” A family feud such as that one I described disintegrated though the power of love.
A song I learned decades ago and have passed on to 50 years of Sunday School children is called, Love, Love, Love. Many of you may know it. It goes like this.
Love, love, love, that’s what it’s all about.
‘Cause God loves us as we love each other.
Mother, Father, Sister, Brother
Everybody sing and shout
‘cause that’s what it’s all about.
It’s about love, love, love.
It’s about love, love, love.
Yes, it’s all about love and mercy and forgiveness too. Family feuds? They will arise but we need to meet them with mercy, compassion, and forgiveness. It’s remarkable what that combination can do.
Sermon by Rev. Mark Holmer
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